This morning we were playing around and I mentioned to Cailee that her daddy would be going away for a few days tomorrow. He’s got that guitar making trip to go on because I am an awesome wife. I’m so awesome that I just shut my mouth and paid for the extras he decided to add onto it, blowing out the projected cost by $1500. He owes me big time for my 30th next month, not that we have any money now to do anything for it. Jerk.
Cailee: “Daddy go away?”
Me: “Yes, but he’ll come back”.
Cailee: “No more daddy?”
Me: “Daddy will still be there, just away for a few days. He’ll come back”.
Cailee: “Ok. I get new one daddy?”
Me: *snorting with laughter* “No”
Cailee: “Yes, I need new one”.
Me: “Ok, shall we get one that actually helps mummy with the housework?”
Cailee: “Ahh. No. I do it. I clean house”.
Me: “Alright, off you go then”.
Cailee: “Ok!” *Goes and puts something in her room.* “Put in my room! My room is special, mummy”.
Me: *laughs and forgets about it*
****Five Minutes Later****
Cailee: “We get new one daddy now?”
Me: “Where from?”
Cailee: “Buy one, from shops!”
Me: “If only it worked that way”.
Cailee: “I buy new mummy too”.
And that was the point where it became less funny… Not that it stopped me telling everyone.
How awesome would it be if you could just go and buy a new one from the shops? Or upgrade the one you’ve got like some kind of Cyberman? I could make a fortune with that idea.
I’d sell modules like:
- Puts dishes in the dishwasher and not stacked in the sink – Because it’s less than 2 feet away for Christ’s sake!
- Ability to visit the supermarket by self – Because you’re a grownup now dear, get your own goddamn conditioner!
- Multiple conversational modules – Because not all women like to hear themselves talk over and over!
- Decision making ability! – No more answers like “Dunno” or “It’s up to you” when asked a question!
- Fixing things ability (to quote Coupling, “I like a man who can fix things; then there’s a point to the rest of him”)
- Hobbies – Pick and choose them to match your own & get a built in support crew or make sure they’re out of the house when you want them to be!
- Habits – Clean up those bad habits like picking fingernails and replace them with anything you like!
Yes, I think I’m onto a winner here, do you agree?