My daughter is currently obsessed with crocodiles. I have no idea how this obsession got hold of her. Sure, we live in Cairns where there are croc sightings and there are always news articles about dimwitted morons losing limbs/life to them but she can’t read the news so it’s probably escaped her notice. I should really pay more attention to what they’re teaching her at day care.

Because I’m an awesome mother, I took her to the local zoo up the road (literally, it’s 5 minutes away) where they have crocodiles and watched her get excited to see them and then subsequently pissed off when they wouldn’t do anything fun. I have the only child in the world not afraid to yell at a crocodile. She stomped her feet and yelled at them to “Get out of water!” or “Move, crocodile!”. They didn’t, but I got a great picture of her having a tantrum at them.

I had my nephew with me who’s the same age and they were on either side of me looking down at this unmoving giant death lizard in a cage when it opened it’s mouth wide. Being that I am an even more hilarious person than I am a good mother, I took the opportunity to dig them both in the sides and yell “Snap!” My nephew screamed and my daughter jumped high enough to touch the moon, I wet myself laughing and the other parents around me were an even mixture of stifled sniggers and reproachful glares.

Eating chickens, not people.

Another parent asked their child what they thought they ate when it was time for the crocodile feeding. Cailee looked up at him sharply. “They eat PEOPLES!” she yelled. “Crocodiles in water. They eat you. Snap! Crocodiles eat peoples!” Cue arms snapping together with misplaced giggles.

What an awesome kid I have!