Valentines? Schmalentines!

I’m not a huge romantic by any stretch of the imagination. I find gushy romantic overtures embarrassing, particularly if they are made in public. Luckily for me, my husband is as romantic as a dead fish so I don’t have to worry about making the stomachs of everyone around me churn and lose their lunches.

I also don’t buy into the notion of Valentines Day. I think that having a prescribed day dedicated to romance is setting people up for disappointment – the day will rarely live up to the overly dramatic expectations set by movies and books, if only for the fact that filling someones house with roses is roughly equivalent to the national debt if the price of single rose is anything to go by this week. It also makes people lazy. As long as you treat your significant other like a prince/princess on this one day, you’re off the hook for the rest of the year. Personally, I’d prefer to be treated to something nice because my husband wanted to do something nice for me, not because society expects it of him,

As it stands, we get out of Valentines Day in our relationship because our wedding anniversary is the 13th February, which had nothing to do with Valentines Day at all, but was a Friday13th. Incidentally, it was also the wedding anniversary of my grandparents, My grandfather died when I was two and a half and it was nice to think that I included him in the day, however unintentional it was. I also learned that February 13 was the anniversary of the Massacre of Glencoe which may or may not have been unintentional on their part, but it’s kind of cool since my grandfather was a Macdonald.

But just because this is my stance on romance happening to me, doesn’t mean I’m completely devoid of any emotion or feelings at all. I enjoy romantic comedies, both in movie and book form. To get into the spirit, I’ll share some of my favourites.

love actually

Love Actually

What’s NOT to love about this movie? Ok, Asides from the fact that it’s double gross because it’s got all that tacky Christmas sentiment heaped on top of all the sludgy romance, but really what more do you want? Alan Rickman! Hello! He’s had my love since Nakitomi Towers (before he went splat of course). Colin Firth, Mr Freaking Darcy himself, falling in love with a chick who doesn’t speak a word of English. Hugh Grant as an adorable prime minister shaking his tushie through 10 Downing St after crushing on an office worker. Liam Neeson in any shape or form. Let’s not forget “Colin, God of Sex!”, and a pre-married to stupid Lori who I can’t stand Rick Grimes sans zombies, but with a big boner for Keira Knightley (infinitely preferable to awful Lori).

Oh Heath Ledger! :(

Oh Heath Ledger! 😦

10 Things I Hate About You

What’s the best kind of love story? The kind where the two protagonists hate each other’s guts of course! Kat was my kind of girl, a literary snob who disdained 95% of the vapid twits at her school (yeah, totally not relateable to me at all, snicker). Patrick was a misunderstood scary dude who didn’t turn out to be the villain everyone thought he was (a romance story staple if I’m not mistaken. Plus, he was Heath Ledger. It was mandatory for all Australian women my age to swoon over him. And boy, did we ever! I still remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I heard he’d died. Despite what Hollywood may have done to him (I refer to his alleged drug habit) we lost a good egg that day.

As you wish...

As you wish…

The Princess Bride

This one’s a two-for-one as it’s both a book and a movie. As a book it stands as being one of the most entertaining and hilarious books I’ve ever read, as a movie – well pretty much the same.

My husband can’t quote movies. He has a memory like Swiss cheese, yet even he throws out references to ROUS’s, Inigo Montoya, Iocane Powder and inconceivability. That’s how awesome this story is. Cary Elwes makes the best rogue ever (see Men in Tights for further proof) and Robin Wright is gorgeous as the stupidly named Princess Buttercup. My sister and I get into rhyme wars like Fezzik and Inigo and I frequently say “I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!”

Marry me, Alan Tudyk!

Marry me, Alan Tudyk!

A Knight’s Tale

More Heath Ledger! A romantic tale told from the perspective of a dude, how rare is that? Well it may not be rare, but I haven’t seen a lot of it, so therefore I’m sticking with that generalisation. It also stars the amazing, wonderful and hilarious Alan Tudyk, whom I have been in love with ever since this movie. The soundtrack is full of Queen and David Bowie, a combination that has always proved a winning one. Classic lines that I still to this day use in every day conversation (sometimes totally without context because it makes perfect sense to me include: “It’s called a lance, hello!”, “I will fong you. Your entrails will become your extrails. Pain! Lots of Pain!” and my personal favourite line ever, “I will eviscerate you in fiction”. The only thing wrong with this movie is Shannon Sossamyn’s stupid hair… oh and her character. Jocelyn is a bitch.

I was going to add another one that I recently discovered that was a three-for-one deal (intrigued?) but unfortunately the computer isn’t letting me attach a picture and it just won’t be the same. I’ll write another post on it.

I would rather sit at home under a doona and live vicariously through any of the above movies/books than participate in any societally prescribed Valentines Day activities. Ugh.

 

What about you? What are your favourite romantic movies or books? Do you have a Valentines day tradition or a favourite Valentines story?

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